When you go through a breakup, the pain can be overwhelming. You tell yourself you never want to open your heart and feel that way again, so you put up walls to avoid getting hurt. Don’t let the heartache of a past relationship prevent you from opening your heart to a new love. You shouldn’t have to swear off love forever! Instead, be open to love for when it comes back into your life with a new and healthy relationship.
Learning how to open your heart to love after a bad breakup might seem like an impossible task. We’re here to tell you that you can open your heart to love despite the heartbreak (trust us on this one!). Fill your heart with the possibilities that lie ahead of you now that you’re single. You’ve got this! Now, let’s get you ready to find love with the right partner so you can open your heart again.
We know it’s not easy to deal with—the sinking feeling in your chest, the tears, and the sleepless nights. Ever heard the saying love is like a drug? After ending a relationship with someone, the feelings you’re having are very similar to a type of withdrawal. In your case, love withdrawal. It’s truly something you need to take your time to heal from. Feel all of your feelings and take as much time as you need to be ready to open your heart to love again.
When it comes to taking the next step of opening your heart, these tips will help you get there:
When you start to date again, don’t build scenarios in your head that may or may not come true. Bring yourself back down to reality with the very real possibility that your next relationship could end at some point too. Don’t put so much pressure on finding the one or someone who checks all of your boxes. Be open to love without expectations of how it should all play out.
This seems a bit controversial, but hear us out! Whether they did something terrible to you, such as cheating, or simply blindsided you with the breakup, you’ll have to come to terms with your feelings. You don’t have to let them back into your life, but you must come to peace with what happened. Holding a grudge against your ex will only keep you stuck in the heartbreak.
If you keep replaying in your head all the things you could have done differently to avoid your past heartbreak—stop! This is going to reopen the wound and not allow you to open your heart. Focus on the present moment and your future instead of the past. All the past dating experiences that didn’t go according to plan shaped who you are as a person now. Embrace the lessons and be open to love despite what happened in the past.
Oftentimes after we get broken up with or cheated on, we wonder if we’re even capable of love. The fact that a relationship ended doesn’t mean anything about your self-worth or ability to love and be loved. Remember that opening your heart to love again just proves you’ve been loved in the past. Feel a new sense of confidence when dating—you fully deserve to have love in your life.
Avoid comparing new potential partners to your ex. The way they look or how they behave—it’s not fair to put them up against a past love. Keep those thoughts in the past! It will give you unrealistic expectations and set them up for failure. Open your heart by dating new people and understanding that each person will have their own flaws and strengths.
If you want to learn how to open your heart to love with a new partner, you have to focus on your self-love first. When you make your needs and wants a priority, you’ll know exactly what to look for with your next partner. Take the time to reflect, journal, meditate and really feel that love for yourself before you open your heart to loving someone else again. The most important love you’ll have in your life is the love you have for yourself.
The most important step is to fully let your walls down. How can you open your heart to love again if you don’t let anyone in? You have to be vulnerable and let people see who you truly are deep down. We aren’t saying it isn’t scary to get close to someone again, but with great risk comes even greater rewards. Open your heart to the possibilities of loving someone new and all the good that can come with it.
Give yourself the opportunity to open your heart again to write your next chapter of love. Let go of past resentments and be open to love with someone new. Life is full of ups and downs, and it’s all a matter of how we take these lessons in love and learn from them. Focus on healing your heart—when you’re ready, you’ll know.
If you’re still feeling like something is in the way of opening your heart, we can help! Our Heart Appeal community offers support, resources, and advice from relationship coaches. Connect with other singles looking for love and share your experiences along your dating journey. Learn more about our community and how to join. We can’t wait to help you open your heart to love again!
Hi, I’m Raghed!
Founder and lead relationship coach at HeartAppeal.
Our blog will be your new favorite place to go for advice, laughs, and comfort through all the stages of dating. We stay up-to-date on all the latest dating trends, so you don’t have to. Have a topic you’d like us to cover or a story you’d like to share with our community? Send me an email; we’d love to include it!