If you’re reading this right now, you’ve probably gone through a painful break up recently. We’re here to tell you that it gets better, and you absolutely won’t feel like this forever!
So, how do you heal from a break up?
The good news is you can absolutely jumpstart the healing process after break ups. The not-so-good news is these aren’t instant, cure-all solutions. But they’ll guide you in the right direction. The healing path is never linear – there are always twists and turns along the way.
It can feel impossible to get through a painful break up. Trust us, we know! But we learn from our experiences, and they make us stronger. So if you’re ready to grow into the person you were always meant to be (without your ex!), here are our best practices to heal from a break-up.
If you haven’t already, end any and all contact with your ex. (At least while you’re healing!) Block them if you need to – this might sound harsh, but it’s SO helpful. Depending on how the break-up went down, cutting off contact is usually the most challenging part. You might’ve heard about the no-contact rule before but thought it wouldn’t help or would be too hard. But trust us on this one! If you keep those lines of communication with your ex open, they’ll occupy valuable space in your mind – space you need to heal from a break-up. Save the trying to be friends for a bit later on. (With a little space, you might even decide that’s not something you even want!)
Unfollowing your ex is similar to cutting off communication and just as crucial! Unfollow, block, mute, whatever you need to do so they don’t pop up in your feed unexpectedly. You might not think to do this after a break-up because we’re so used to passively scrolling on social media. If you block your ex, it adds that extra layer of protection and stops you from checking their profile. It also prevents you from posting things on your feed or Stories just so they see it. That kind of behavior means you’re dedicating time and thought to them – but they should be the furthest thing from your mind after a painful break up.
Allow yourself to feel literally EVERY single emotion that comes up. Tears and sadness are inevitable, but you have to let all those feelings out to heal from a break-up. Crying releases tension and stress from your body, so you’ll feel a lot better after a good cry. If you start feeling anger toward your ex, feel that anger! Every emotion you’re feeling right now is human and part of the process of healing from a break-up. If you hold in your feelings and pretend like everything’s fine, you’re fine, that only delays your healing. Eventually, your emotions will even out and return to their natural state.
Cue the dramatic rom-com montage: ripping up photos and burning them after a painful break up. You might have a few printed photos around, but the reality is you’re probably deleting photos from your phone and social media. With this step, you have to get into the out of sight, out of mind mantra. Think of it as a fresh start. If you really don’t want to lose those memories forever, you can save them to your laptop or another backup device. But please don’t sit and look at old photos, replaying good memories. Those memories will always be there, but you need to get rid of those photos as you heal.
When you’re in a committed relationship, you might neglect certain friends or family members because you’re so focused on your significant other. It’s unintentional, we know, but now you have more time and energy to focus on those relationships. It’s important to nurture your friendships and relationships with your family because they’ll always be there for you after a painful break-up. A simple phone call or catch-up lunch date with loved ones will do wonders to heal from a break-up.
Keeping yourself busy with work and things you love doing is an excellent distraction from your painful break up. Easier said than done when you’re upset, but this is a powerful healing tool! If you sit idle and let the thoughts of the break-up consume you, you can’t move forward. Put some energy toward advancing your career – those feelings of accomplishment and pride are way better than sadness! Focus on hobbies you might’ve put on the back burner when dating your ex. That thing you LOVED doing and they hated? Do that! And do it with the same passion you always had for it.
Now’s the perfect time to put yourself first. Maybe that means eating healthier, working out, going for a walk, or doing yoga. Or maybe it means journaling your feelings to help you process your thoughts or practicing meditation and mindfulness. Feeling healthy and at your best will help you turn inward and focus on the most important person in your life: YOU.
Still feeling overwhelmed by a painful break up? It’s time to make healing a priority. Heart Appeal is a community that provides support and encouragement as you navigate the dating world. Our experts offer one-on-one relationship coaching and can help guide you from heartbreak to healing.
Get more information about our membership benefits that will help you on your path to love. We can’t wait to hear from you!
Hi, I’m Raghed!
Founder and lead relationship coach at HeartAppeal.
Our blog will be your new favorite place to go for advice, laughs, and comfort through all the stages of dating. We stay up-to-date on all the latest dating trends, so you don’t have to. Have a topic you’d like us to cover or a story you’d like to share with our community? Send me an email; we’d love to include it!