We all know that sinking feeling of being single for an extended period of time. Another wedding invite without a plus one to bring. Another party where you’re the only single one. Another year of your friends getting engaged and you feeling left behind. It’s completely normal to wonder “Why am I single?” when it seems like everyone around you is coupled up.
If you’ve been single for a while and ask yourself “Why am I still single?” or “When will I meet the one?” The best thing to do is turn inward for answers. Think about your dating habits and patterns to identify what might be hindering your path to love. This is where you’ll understand what you’re doing wrong, change your perspective, and set yourself up for success in dating.
Here are five reasons why you’re still single and how to overcome these roadblocks to finding your perfect partner:
This is a big one to think about! If you continue to date the wrong partners, you’re wasting a lot of precious time you could be spending with the right partner. This can be especially challenging if you’re dating people you think are right for you at first, but then end up not being the right fit. So, what can you do in this situation to stop wondering “Why am I still single?”
Think about the qualities you don’t like that your past partners had. Notice the red flags when they show up early on to avoid spending too much time dating people who aren’t right for you. When you consciously choose to end relationships sooner due to incompatibility, you give yourself more time to meet the one.
You might notice yourself pulling away when it comes time to get serious with someone you’re dating. There could be deep-rooted issues causing you to avoid commitment. A common reason is having had your heart broken in the past. You might not want to risk feeling that pain again if things don’t work out. Another common reason is losing the sense of freedom that comes with being single. You fear you won’t have that anymore if you commit to someone.
With fear of commitment, the best way to conquer it is to face it head-on. Ask yourself why you’re afraid to take things to the next level. Once you identify why, you can correct it. Reassure yourself that the only way to get what you want is to actually give commitment a shot with someone. You won’t know when you meet the one if you don’t try. You can always end the relationship if it turns out not to be what you imagined.
You’ve probably heard the advice about making a list of all the qualities you want in a person to manifest them into your life. While this can be productive for identifying what you want in a partner, it can equally be detrimental if your standards are impossible to meet. If your list says you want a guy who’s over 6 feet, went to an Ivy League school, and drives a nice car, you might want to reevaluate these more superficial standards.
If you’re asking yourself “Why am I single?” your standards could be the issue! Be more realistic about what you’re looking for and focus less on accolades or physical appearance. Think about the qualities of character you’re looking for instead. Someone who treats you with respect and kindness. Someone who wants to have a family and also loves to travel like you do. Focus on shared interests, character traits, and life goals that are important to you and that will bring happiness in the relationship.
Sometimes the reason could be as straightforward as you haven’t met the right person yet. That’s totally okay! But issues can arise when you continue to live by this mantra to the point where believe you can’t do anything about it. If it’s become a default answer when a friend or family member asks why you’re still single, think about why that is.
Reflect on how you’ll recognize when you meet the one. It’s easy to overlook really great people when you keep believing that you haven’t met the right person yet (or may never meet them). Become more aware and date mindfully to get out of the rut of believing you won’t ever meet the right person.
If you’re asking yourself “Why am I still single?” when you haven’t been on a date in ages, there’s the issue right there. You can’t expect to meet the love of your life if you aren’t actually prioritizing dating. If you’re too busy with school, work, family, or other commitments, it’s easy to put dating on the back burner. When you aren’t going on dates, how do you expect to meet the one?
When you have more time to dedicate to dating, make it a priority. Join a dating app or try to meet people IRL. Sign up for speed dating, go to a singles mixer, or spend a night out with friends. If you aren’t putting yourself out there, there won’t be a chance to go on dates and meet your future partner. Commit yourself to achievable goals, like going on one date or attending one social event per month. You have to start somewhere on your path to finding love!
When You Meet the One, It’ll All Be Worth It
Being a single woman in the modern dating scene can be exhausting to say the least. You wonder “When will I meet the one and be done with all the endless dates that go nowhere?” You’re tired of the lovebombing and ghosting and are ready to find your person. That’s where we come in! Heart Appeal was created to empower single women in the dating world. We create a safe space for like-minded singles to come together and discuss their dating journeys with one another. We also provide expert advice and knowledge from certified dating coaches. Learn more about how to join our free community and start making your love life a priority!
Hi, I’m Raghed!
Founder and lead relationship coach at HeartAppeal.
Our blog will be your new favorite place to go for advice, laughs, and comfort through all the stages of dating. We stay up-to-date on all the latest dating trends, so you don’t have to. Have a topic you’d like us to cover or a story you’d like to share with our community? Send me an email; we’d love to include it!