It can be a daunting task to navigate hook up culture in this age of mindless swiping. With the rising popularity of dating apps, it seems like people are more prone to wanting a one-night stand instead of a committed relationship. While it might seem like no one is looking for anything serious after more failed connections than you can keep track of, there still are people out there who want a serious relationship too.

What is Hook Up Culture? 

We hear this buzzworthy term often, but what does it actually mean? Hookup culture refers to the idea that casual sexual encounters are the best or only way to engage sexually.

When looking at hook up culture statistics relating to dating apps, 47% of survey respondents use Tinder specifically for hooking up. So then, which are the best dating sites for a serious relationship? No matter which dating site or app you use, you’ll find both those looking for hookups as well as something more serious. 

Why Are People Afraid of a Serious Relationship?

It may seem like many daters are hesitant to transition from hooking up to something more serious. You may wonder when will I find love and finally move past the non-committal dates. Hook up culture exists in a world where people fear getting hurt, so they might avoid getting too close or attached. 

Here are three top reasons why someone might be afraid to get into a committed relationship: 

 

Fear of Being Vulnerable

This fear could stem from never being in a relationship before, being hurt in the past, or simply being afraid of getting too close to someone. It can be scary when you give your heart to another person, but if you don’t show your vulnerable side, there is no way to grow closer to that person and build a serious relationship. 

Commitment Issues

If your date has commitment issues, they may prefer to stay in the undefined territory and cannot dedicate themselves to a serious relationship. This type of relationship anxiety can lead to avoiding talking about where the relationship is going. You may feel like there is no progression to the next level of the relationship.

 

Recently Out of a Serious Relationship

Your date could only be looking for a hook up because they may have just gotten out of a serious relationship and are emotionally unavailable. They might need more time to get over their ex and don’t want to jump into a committed relationship right away. They need to take time to process their breakup, but this doesn’t mean you need to wait around until they do. 

Avoid Hook Up Culture and Find a Serious Relationship

Tired of going on date after date only to find out they don’t want anything serious? Here’s our expert advice on navigating hook up culture when you want a serious relationship.

Be Up Front About Your Standards

Let your date know early on that you’re not looking for a hook up situation. Define your standards from the start and stick to them. In this case, your standard might be not to sleep with anyone before becoming exclusive with them. If someone doesn’t want to meet your dating criteria, don’t accommodate them when that’s not what you want. 

Stay Away from Situationships

Steer clear of falling into a confusing and ambiguous situationship that we often find ourselves in with modern dating. This happens so easily, you get to know someone, have great dates, sleep with them, but never have that “what are we?” conversation. But you’re afraid to ask the question thinking it will scare them off. They’re getting what they want without a label, if you aren’t ok with that, you want to lose this person. Your time is precious, don’t waste it on someone who isn’t sure about you. 

Be Prepared to Walk Away 

So, you’ve communicated that you want a serious relationship, and they aren’t into that idea? Be confident enough to walk away from a hook up situation that won’t serve you. If they get angry or defensive that you don’t want to sleep with them without a commitment, then there’s your red flag that they have been disguising from the start. Don’t walk, but rather RUN away from these people, you will thank yourself later. 

Eliminate the Scarcity Mindset

Let’s be real, it might seem like this person is so amazing that you won’t connect with someone on the same level again. But the reality is, there are plenty of other potential matches out there you’ll also be attracted to and want to get to know. This person is not right for you because they don’t want the same things as you, therefore it’s not a good match.

Using Dating Sites and Apps to Find a Serious Relationship 

The key to finding a serious relationship on a dating app starts with what you put on your dating profile. Some dating apps give you an option to list what you’re looking for on your profile, such as hookups, long-term dating, short-term dating, or new friends. This makes eliminating profiles that aren’t looking for the same thing as you much easier. There’s no magic secret to finding the best dating site for a serious relationship. You’ll encounter all types of people no matter which dating site or app you choose. However, some are specifically designed for hook ups, so definitely avoid those. 

 

Stick to Your Standards in Seeking a Serious Relationship

You might be cursing hook up culture and asking yourself, “when will I find love?” Need not worry, if you’re putting yourself out there and staying true to your dating standards, you’ll find a serious relationship on your own unique timeline. 

Heart Appeal is here to help you along the way of your journey in finding love. Join our community today and get advice from our expert coaches dedicated to making your dating life easier in achieving a fulfilling long-term relationship.