Much of the excitement in the early stages of dating is getting to know someone new and learning about their hobbies, interests, and life experiences. All of the basic information is covered in dating apps questions, but beyond that, oversharing early in a relationship could ultimately lead to more harm than good.
Oversharing is a sign of nerves in many cases, especially when you’re on the first few dates with a prospective new love. You might tend to ramble and reveal some personal information that you end up regretting later. It’s important to leave some topics undiscussed until you trust and know this person better.
How do you know when something is an oversharing red flag or not? There are ways to draw the line between sharing essential facts about yourself to grow closer to someone versus oversharing. In this blog, we’ll discuss how you might overshare on dating apps and first dates, along with how to avoid revealing too much about yourself early on.
It takes time and effort to create the perfect dating app profile. With so many dating apps questions, it can be overwhelming to decide what to answer and what to leave out. It’s a fine line between having a profile that’s too sparse and one that’s way too much information. Find the middle ground!
Here are some tips to avoid oversharing on dating apps:
If you don’t want to fill in whether you want children, your religious beliefs, or your political party, you don’t have to! It’s okay to leave blank whatever you’d rather discuss in person after meeting your date. Sometimes people can be quick to judge someone on a dating app profile without knowing the whole story. It’s up to you what you want to disclose—whatever makes you feel most comfortable is what matters.
We imagine you know better than to list your super-private information, but sometimes something seemingly as innocent as listing the company you work for can be oversharing. You don’t need the hundreds (and maybe even thousands!) of people who swipe through your profile to see where you work. The same goes for listing your phone number, last name, or photos that might identify your neighborhood. Oversharing this type of information can be detrimental to your overall safety, so keep your profile to general information only.
Let’s say the conversation is going well with a particular match then they ask, “Hey, do you have Instagram?” Most of the time, it’s your match’s way of seeing more photos of you and getting to know what you’re like before meeting. It’s usually better to wait until after a few dates before adding on social media. Oversharing on social media can turn someone off before meeting you or during the initial dating phase. Some oversharing on social media examples could be revealing personal details about your life or posting photos meant for your close friends only.
Now that you’ve made it past the dating apps questions phase, it’s time to get ready for the first date! It’s normal to feel a bit nervous before meeting someone new. Remember that even though you may have chatted with this person for a while from the app, they’re still a stranger.
Use these tips to stop yourself from oversharing on your first date:
Try to keep the discussion surface level until you get to know them better. It’s great to ask about hobbies, what they like to do for fun, travel stories, or discuss other interests you both have. Steer clear of getting into topics of your exes or any personal or family problems you’re dealing with or that happened in the past. Save these topics for later on in the dating process.
It’s easy to fill awkward silences in conversation by talking about yourself. When you’re not sure what to say, you might find yourself telling stories you usually wouldn’t tell someone you just met. If you start going off on a tangent, ask your date a question to give them a chance to speak about themselves. It takes a bit of self-awareness to notice when you’ve been talking way too much and not asking the other person any questions. Be mindful of this on the date!
If you drink, you’re most likely aware of the effects it can have on you. While a drink or two helps to ease nerves, it might make you feel a little too comfortable and lead to oversharing. Know your limits regarding how many drinks to order on the first date. Keep in mind that alcohol might make you reveal some things you wouldn’t normally say to your date. Everyone is different, so decide ahead of time what works best for you if you plan to drink or not.
When you know what you’re looking for, don’t be afraid to share your wants and needs with your date early on. Expressing your standards, dating goals, and boundaries isn’t oversharing. In fact, it’s encouraged to be open and honest about what you want from the start to promote a healthy relationship.
If you’re struggling to fill out those dating apps questions, looking for dating advice, or need some support on your way to finding love, we’re here for you! Heart Appeal offers dating app profile audits, relationship coaching services, and a free community of other singles just like you.
Hi, I’m Raghed!
Founder and lead relationship coach at HeartAppeal.
Our blog will be your new favorite place to go for advice, laughs, and comfort through all the stages of dating. We stay up-to-date on all the latest dating trends, so you don’t have to. Have a topic you’d like us to cover or a story you’d like to share with our community? Send me an email; we’d love to include it!